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My Lens

All The Secrets That Stay That Way

Roni Delmonico

"Where are they hiding? All the things we should know but somehow never do. All the secrets that stay that way and the translations of life that get lost as they are passed down over the years and moments that fill the spaces between our bones. Do we know them, have we always known them? Are they lost inside us, covered with the sediment of experience and failure, longing and the quiet acquiescence to the many responsibilities we bury ourselves in? How did we forget that the most homesick you will ever feel is when you are finally standing on the porch, but have not yet put the key to the lock, turned the knob to the door, and stepped inside? That weight and wait sound the same for a reason, and the longer you do the latter, the more you can feel the former. The heavier it becomes and perhaps this, exactly and precisely this, is why when old age catches up, inches have been erased from our proud and former height. We shrink under the immeasurable and invisible weight of the wait, no matter what we are waiting for. Who told us the best truth - that what’s simple is true and it is our fault that so often we hold a simple thing, only to let it tarnish in the dirty water of false complications? We stare into our outstretched palms and rather than rejoice in the perfection we’ve stumbled upon, each perfect minute and fragile breath, we find ways to pick it apart. We look for flaws instead of features, cracks instead of character. We lose it somehow and somewhere along the way, that life is short. Short in that there will never be enough time to do the things we need to do, and absolutely never enough time to tell those we need to tell all the things we need to tell them. Say them. Shout them. Scream them or whisper. Your voice will know the volume when it finds the ears that need the words. Say them because tomorrow is not a promise, it is a hope. Say them because they deserve to hear them and say them because your voice will shake but it’s the shaking that means it’s worth it. Was it stolen or did we give it away in the darkest moments of our weakest days? This belief and hope that it’s ok to believe and it’s crucial to hope. All these lost things, these missing and missed things, where are they now? Perhaps they are never lost and always hiding inside ourselves. Perhaps we have half the answer and we are only waiting to find the other half, living secret and silent and shaking the voice of the one whose voice you have waited your entire life to hear."
-Tyler Knott Gregson-